


Lady of the House

by Naferty



Series: T'Stuckony Household [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Intersex character, Mentions of Trans Character, Past Mpreg, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8569024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naferty/pseuds/Naferty
Summary: “You have got to be kidding me!” the saleswoman at the door shrieked. She couldn’t be seen from their angle of the kitchen to the door, but they could clearly see T’Challa and it was obvious he was playing the oblivious man who was not understanding. “I just want to talk to the lady of the house, that’s it. Can I please see her?”“I understand,” T’Challa said to the saleswoman, “please, wait a moment while I get them for you,” and with that Bucky moved away from the door and took T’Challa’s spot, draping himself across the frame and lifting his leg to pose it on the other side. He fanned himself frantically, fluttering his eyelids.“Yeeeeeeeees?” Bucky said sensually and with a higher pitch. “You asked for me?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this [Comic Post](http://wakka66.tumblr.com/post/152828891168/okay-can-i-just-talk-about-this-comic-series-for) and I couldn't resist after seeing the last one. I swear it's something Bucky would totally do.

“Hello there, little ones. Can one of you get your mommy for me, please?”

Peter gave the stranger lady a smile, just as his papa had taught him to do when talking to ma’ams. _Gotta be polite_. “Sure!” he said and still holding Miles’ hand, and grabbing five year old Gwen’s, he led them inside and looked for their mom.

“Mama, someone is asking for you at the door.”

“Are they now?” Tony set the empty glass he had in his hand on the table, patted his pants and walked to the door. The moment she spotted him the smile she had ready in greeting disappeared and a questioning frown took over. He brushed it away and gave an honest grin. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Uh, sorry,” she looked at him funny, as if not understanding why he was standing at his own door, “I wanted to speak to someone else.”

“Oh, sure,” he nodded and gestured for her to stay put. “One sec, I’ll get them for you.”

He returned to the kitchen and spotted Steve cleaning the dishes, halfway through with them. “Steve, someone wants to talk to you.”

Steve shut the water down and dried his hands on one of the many dish towels. “Anyone I know?”

“Not sure, looks like a sales lady. Might want to hook you on something.”

“They didn’t hook you?”

Tony shrugged. “Didn’t even tell me what she was selling. Said they wanted to talk to someone else.”

“Huh,” with that said Steve walked to the front door, receiving the same treatment Tony did when the lady spotted him. The greeting smile, yet again, disappeared and along with the questioning frown the faintest hint of frustration began, and also the slightest twitch of disgust. Steve saw the signs and took great joy in acting the welcoming part. “You wanted to talk to me?”

“No, no,” she gave an awkward chuckle. “I’m looking for someone interested in -” she patted the bag she held. It looked to be merchandize that was mostly considered feminine. “I hope you understanding I’m looking for someone else to talk to.”

“Oh, of course,” Steve said good naturedly and exaggerated. “Wait here for a moment.” Returning to the kitchen where Tony was still present and was now rocking little one in a half year old Miles. T’Challa was in the middle of preparing a snack for him. Steve grinned. Perfect. “The saleswoman out there wants to talk to you, T’Challa.”

“Saleswoman?” T’Challa repeated and handed the snack to the smiling infant reaching out to him. “What is she advertising?”

“Looks to be makeup of sorts. Couldn’t really tell since she turned me away the moment she saw me.”

Tony’s lip turned upward. “Get the feeling she’s looking for someone specific, someone who doesn’t necessarily have certain body parts.”

Steve nodded. “Got that feeling, too.”

Gwen’s eyes followed T’Challa as he made his way to the front door before looking up to Tony and Steve. “What body parts?”

Steve went to kiss her on her head. “She doesn’t want someone with a beard, sweetie.”

“But you don’t have a beard, daddy. Why doesn’t she want you?”

“She’s a picky one. Wants to talk to the very pretty ones,” Tony said, resting Miles on his hip.

“You saying I ain’t pretty, dear?” Steve sent a playful accusing stare.

“‘Course not, honey. I would never. You’re the prettiest princess around, besides Gwen. She’s the number one princess.” Said child beamed at the compliment.

“Can’t argue with that.”

“You have _got_ to be _kidding_ me!” the saleswoman at the door shrieked. She couldn’t be seen from their angle of the kitchen to the door, but they could clearly see T’Challa and it was obvious he was playing the oblivious man who was not understanding. “I just want to talk to the lady of the house, that’s it. Can I _please_ see her?” T’Challa nodded, seeming to think it over, and as if on time Bucky came down from the flight of stairs from the second floor and heard it all.

“Who’s shrieking and why is she at our door?” he glared at the direction of the stranger.

“Seems to be trying to sell us something,” Tony answered, lifting his mug of lukewarm coffee and taking a sip. “Wants to talk to the ‘lady.’”

Gwen perked up at that, ready to rush for the door if Peter wasn’t still holding her hand and keeping her in place.

Peter frowned, trying to look suspicious but ultimately looking far too adorable than an eight year old should look. “She wants to talk to Gwen? Why?”

“For something, but she’s not going anywhere until she finishes her juice,” Tony said.

Bucky opened his mouth with a retort but the saleswoman’s repeated shriek interrupted him. “I just want to talk to the lady of the house. Is there even a lady present? How hard is it to understand?”

Bucky seemed to have a revelation and he quickly ran to the living room, snatched one of the many decorative fans on the wall (Tony’s mother’s collection) and rounded back, seeking permission from Tony.

With a roll of his eyes Tony said, “Fine, just be careful with it.”

“Promise,” Bucky rushed to the front door and hid behind it, waiting.

“I understand,” T’Challa said to the saleswoman, “please, wait a moment while I get them for you,” and with that Bucky moved away from the door and took T’Challa’s spot, draping himself across the frame and lifting his leg to pose it on the other side. He fanned himself frantically, fluttering his eyelids.

“Yeeeeeeeees?” Bucky said sensually and with a higher pitch. “You asked for me?”

Even from the kitchen they were able to see how the saleswoman’s eye twitched. Tony couldn’t hold back a snicker and neither could the kids. And right on cue, with their normal saying of ‘if one does it the other soon follows,’ Steve quickly rushed to the living room closet, grabbed a bright pink umbrella that looked right out of the 50s (which it was, considering it belonged to Steve’s mother) and joined Bucky in posing all sultry against the door frame. “How can we help you?”

This time Tony released a laugh and had baby Miles join him. When he noticed T’Challa had the same mischievous look Steve and Bucky usually got when they were up to no good Tony knew he was doomed to laugh a spleen clean off. T’Challa snatched a frilly, pink apron (Tony’s gag gift given years ago that he seemed to really love) from the wall of the kitchen and quickly tied it on before grabbing a spatula and joining the two at the door. He didn’t pose against the door frame like the blonde and brunet, but he did mimicked their stances and made himself look smaller and fragile. “Anything you need of us?”

There was no trace of patience on the saleswoman’s face. She looked frustrated and annoyed and was ready to argue against them mocking her. Tony took pity. While he found it hilarious that the woman misinterpreted their family and assumed a certain function, he also understood that not everyone will figure it out - especially not _their_ family - and getting teased about wasn’t something appreciated. He hoisted Miles up to hold against his chest and readied himself to break up their fun. Peter and Gwen following right behind him.

With a gentle nudge he moved the three from the door. “Hi, sorry about them. They don’t mean anything by it. Just a bit of teasing.”

Bucky placed the back of his hand on his forehead and caused the loose strands that were resisting his man bun to twirl from the fan’s movement. He created the image of a very scandalized and exaggerated person. “Don’t mean anything by it at all.”

Steve spinned his umbrella, swaying a little. “Don’t mind us. We were in the middle of cleaning up the house. We’ve got cookies baking, would you like to join us?”

T’Challa waved his spatula. “Do join us, they’re chocolate chip. Our son’s favorite.”

Peter waved at being mentioned, grinning at the thought of soon eating those very same chocolate chip cookies. Instead of sharing the same sentiment or waving back the saleswoman looked angrily at him. “I asked if I could talk to your mother, why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t have one?”

Peter didn’t appear to enjoy the way she talked to him as if he didn’t understand something so simple. He glared at her, eyes intelligent and looking every bit Tony did when he was mad mixed in with Bucky’s chin. “I did! I got mom here like you wanted. It’s not my fault you wanted to see my dads instead.”

The lady looked between the four adults. “Neither of you have wives so you decided to appoint one of you as a mom? Do you know how confused a child would be doing that?”

“Our mom is mom,” Peter repeated with a defiant pout and with Gwen nodding with all the seriousness she could. “We won’t get confused. Mom is someone who loves us and tucks us in and keeps us warm when we’re sick and who carries us. He always carries us. He carried us when we were really little, too. He’s our mom.”

Let it be known that Peter’s inherited intelligence wasn’t just for show. He understood the basics of where he and his siblings came from. He watched Tony carry them in his stomach, after all. He understood that a mom was called a mom because they were the ones who carried, and because Tony carried naturally he was mom.

And while the logic from the child was vague, for the saleswoman it was enough. She looked disgusted at Tony and even took a step back from the door. “Trans?”

Tony shrugged the insult off. “None of your business, really. You selling something?”

“Not to you, obviously.”

Before being able to respond again a hand gently grabbed Tony’s shoulder and pulled him back. Bucky was glaring now, no amusement evident that it was ever there. The  fan was closed now, and when Steve appeared on his other side he had a similar expression on his face. His umbrella was also closed. T’Challa quickly gave him and Miles a kiss on the cheek before ushering him away from the door. He had taken off his apron sometime during the conversation heading downhill and now all three of them were ready to defend his Tony’s honor, it seemed.

Tony grabbed Peter’s hand and led him back to the kitchen, Peter in turn leading Gwen and creating a little conga line. “Mama, what is daddy, papa and baba doing?” Gwen said with a quick look back to them.

“They’re just reminding the lady at the door about manners and being polite. They’ll come back in a moment.”

Gwen scrunched up her nose. The very thought of someone being impolite impossible for her to understand, what with all four of them reminding her to always have manners and treat others nicely.

“Come on, how about we get started on that tea party of yours? I’ll get the cookies and milk,” Tony encouraged and chuckled when Gwen gave an enthusiastic yes and rushed off to her pink and purple table and sat on one of the many plastic chairs. Peter joined her shortly after, eager for the mentioned cookies.

“Here we go,” Tony sat Miles down on the chair nearest Peter, “watch over him, please?” he said to his oldest.

At Peter’s nod and Miles’ adorable babbling Tony went to grab the tray of cooling cookies, put them on a plate and grabbed the carton of milk. Plastic teacup filled and handed to Peter and Gwen and holding one for himself and Miles, Tony sat down and was careful not to strain the chair too much.”Thank you, Pete.”

Peter looked proud before grabbing one cookie and nibbling it followed by a very sophisticated sip of his cup. Gwen also did the same but she included a very high chin raise. For Miles, who was messily eating his cookie, Tony had to help him take small sips.

They continued like this for a moment until the front door was slammed shut and Steve, Bucky and T’Challa marched back in. “What kind of person are you that you’d walk up to someone else’s house and insult the family living in it?” Steve growled.

Tony craned his neck up to receive a kiss from the three. “Someone who doesn’t know three gentlemen were living in the house. Now, will those gentlemen be good gentlemen and serve the princess and princes’?”

“Of course,” Steve kneeled near the table in-between Gwen and Tony and grabbed the milk carton. “Refill for the little lady?”

“Yes, please,” Gwen said.

Bucky kneeled next to Peter and T’Challa next to Miles. The infant offered a slobbery piece of cookie to T’Challa with a very adorable “‘aba.”

T’Challa took the offered piece with a warm smile. “Thank you, little _inkwenkwezi_.”

Peter didn’t offer his cookie but he did snatch one from the plate and gave it to Bucky.

“Oh I see, you don’t want to share with me, do you?” Bucky took a bite of the sweet either way. “I raised a barbarian.”

“Just like you,” Steve remarked. “Peter might look like Tony and have his brain but that attitude is all yours, Buck.”

Bucky shrugged, a proud grin forming. “It’s only fair.”

“Only fair he says,” Tony mumbled through his cookie. "As if you did more besides planting roots." 

“Love you, doll.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Love you, sweetheart,” Steve added.

“Love you, kitten,” T’Challa finished.

“Better love me after everything I put up for you three.”

Miles babbled something and swung his arms, toothy smile aimed at Tony. Peter and Gwen gave that same smile. “We love you, too, mama,” Peter said for the three.

Tony groaned but inside he couldn’t hold back how much he loved his family. “What have I done to earn three clone sets?”

“Admit it, you love us.”

“Shut up and refill my cup.”


End file.
